We sure do like to "do" stuff, don't we?
We invest in courses, books, programs, and degrees that teach us how we can "do" this, or how we can "do" that...
We pour ourselves into our work, and call it "doing our job"...
We focus on our "outreach"; we worry if our "missions" are effective enough...
We continually add to our to-do lists, whether personally or corporately motivated to do so, hoping for the shallow satisfactions of feeling productive.
And if we're not "doing" something, we're plagued by guilt.
(I'm not immune to this. It's Friday at 2pm. I'm still in my pajamas, totally throwing my to-do list in the air.)
The social atmosphere of today, at least all of it that I'm exposed to, is one of action; be it socially-, mission-, career- or goal-oriented. We're surrounded by this mentality, and taught this from a young age. This has been modeled for us, and this is what we're modeling for our children.
In our rush to "do" more, our self worth becomes identified by what we DO, instead of who we ARE.
How ironic, today being Good Friday, that Jesus cried out for us, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do."
We look at the Scriptures to see that Jesus met the needs of the people He encountered. We're so quick to jump on board with this, because this is something tangible that we can accomplish. This is what our performance-trained brains, as well as the passing paradigm, tell us.
The gospel accounts tell of Jesus feeding the crowds with the loaves and fish.
Yes, Jesus fed thousands of people.
Want to know what he did next?
HE LEFT!! (He didn't sit around, telling the people to keep coming back so he could supply their basic needs over and over again, calling that one thing he did his ministry.)
Matthew and Mark's accounts say that he jumped on a boat with the disciples and hi-tailed it out of there. Luke's account doesn't say he left, but the loaves-and-fish account is followed by the sentence, "Once when Jesus was praying by himself..." (- my guess? He left.) John's account also tells that Jesus left the scene.
Why do we overlook that???
Probably because it's easier to follow the expectation to "do as Jesus did", instead of finding out why, or what happened next.
Probably because we come from a society that compartmentalizes, breaking things into easily digestible nuggets - (it's easier to memorize that way.)
What we fail to pay attention to, is that Jesus did everything He did for two reasons:
1)He knew who he was.
2)He only did what he saw his father doing.
It wasn't to make himself look or feel good.
It wasn't to model a new kind of ministry.
It wasn't to shock and awe people with something that went against the very grain of society (even though it very much did).
Jesus did all these things to shine the light of a new reality into the darkness of life for people bound by religion.
I really want to tear into the fish and bread story, but I'll give my cliff-notes.
(I will tell you that I see a lot of Jesus rolling his eyes, in all four accounts.)
Jesus knew who He was, and was listening to God.
What is God all about? Community. (I would think 5000 people could be a community; a big one, but a community never the less.)
What else is God about? Provision. Love.
I find it fascinating that it was a child who had the fish and bread. And that this child had something the community needed. And he gave it. (That's my take; I really don't think he'd be mentioned in scripture if he put up a big stink about someone taking his food...)
Anyways, this kid gives up what he has, because the community needs it.
And it's enough. It's more than enough.
What if the story of Jesus feeding the 5000 was a model of community, instead a model of ministry?
We're so quick to "do what Jesus did", when we don't even fully understand what he did, why he did it, and what that meant to the people around him. Not to mention that so many of us wander around not knowing who we are, trying out different avenues of activity or "doing" all kinds of stuff, thinking it will tell us who we are, trying to apply to our lives lessons that don't make any sense because the setting was different.
A couple years ago I heard a pastor from overseas say that we Americans work ourselves into [forced] rest. I agree. We run the cycle of doing and doing and doing until we crash, spent and exhausted, with no fulfillment; so as soon as we're able, we get right back out there and do it all over again.
Talk about going around the mountain!
What if the priority was changed from "doing" to "being"?
If all we're focusing on as the church is teaching how to do, without teaching us how to be, then we're just "doing church", instead of "being the church".
We can't "be the church" if we don't know how to "be", how to abide.
And we can't know how to "be" if we don't know who we "are".
In order to know who we "are", Christ only asks that we do one thing. That IS one thing he modeled, and we celebrate/remember it today.
All the years of hearing that I was created for a purpose, that I was loved, that I was forgiven, didn't tell me who I was. In a sweeping moment of clarity, all that did for me was let me know that every bit of my screw ups in my past had a reason, all that I had done wrong in my entire life was to be learned from, not lived in.
I tried for years to do this, and tried to do that, hoping that I'd understand who I was. (See above in the working to exhaustion bit.)
It's funny, looking back, I can see that I had to understand that my past did not tell me who I am today.
That person I thought I was, I had to kill; I had to crucify all my selfish wants, wishes, desires, my pride, and even my dreams.
Of everything I wanted, I wanted God more.
It was only then, by hanging myself on the cross, that I really live, and continue to learn who I am, and all the fullness of that.
Psalm 46:10
"Be still and know that I am God."
Be still and know that I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
BE.
