Watching the news is EXHAUSTING. Period.
It stirs up emotions, hoping to draw out an instant reaction from viewers. Journalists on every network spin a web or words, words that they hope demand a response from their viewers.
If I want to get you on my side of an issue, I'm going to only reveal the ugliness of the opposition. I'm going to purposefully leave out details of my own ugliness, bigotry, and/or wrongdoings. And if, at some point in time, my dark secrets were brought to light, I'd find a way to divert your attention from them. This is Battle 101.
Twisting of facts, hiding and revealing of partial information; this is the reason I hate politics, I abhor watching the news, and I cannot stand arguments on social media.
In any quest for truth, there's always an attempt to obstruct truth; whether its hiding certain facts, covering up history, or throwing boulders in the path of those searching.
I hate to fall into the categorization of a conspiracy theorist, but come on. You have to admit, the access to fully disclosed truth in any matter is usually hidden in a labyrinth of useless information, u-turns of misinformation, and roadblocks of lies.
Our ability to think has diminished greatly in the last few decades; easy access to information, however convenient, has numbed the ability of our neurons to seek truths and put facts together for ourselves. It's much easier to make the quick jump on a bandwagon of a cause or agenda than it is to gather information for yourself, and make your own opinion.
One thing about bandwagons is that they're usually fast-moving, giving the person who jumps on little to no time to do the research into said bandwagon/cause/agenda. It's goal is to feed and fuel emotional response to opposition, usually with half truths, man-made rules, or blatant lies, in order to further a cause.
I have to guard my own words here, because I myself am very susceptible to being swept into any passing emotional current.
Emotions have the potential to be dangerous for me. I'm sure for others as well, but I'm not talking about anyone else, just me.
I make the choice, personally, not to choose sides in an issue.
Instead, I choose Truth.
Truth leads me daily, hourly, minute by minute, thought by thought, breath by breath.
Truth shows me the absolutes on either side of a battle.
Truth also holds me accountable. For my own actions, for my own responses.
Truth shows me when I am in danger of getting swept away by emotion; when those emotions can be beneficial, and when they're not.
Truth shows me the errors in my thinking, fills in the blanks and answers questions.
I'm a "mercy" person. Loving, caring, and compassionate. I cannot stand to see people suffering.
Maybe it's because I've suffered.
I've been tormented by the skeletons in my closet.
I've done horrible things, and I've held on to hatred and judgment of myself.
I've held on to the demons of what I've done far too long to remain comfortable.
I've lived in the glass house, in fear of constant rejection.
I tried to hide my shame from the outside world, and hoped to redeem myself by joining forces with those who oppose what I've done.
Let me tell you, all that did was keep me in bondage.
A constant reminder of my sin. I tried being part of something that stood under rules they established in an attempt to uphold something that only God Himself Is.
(Hm. Puts the Law of the Old Testament into new perspective...)
Enter Truth.
All at once, the fear, the shame, the torment, the self-hatred...all disappeared with a word...Forgiven.
It didn't come in the form of conforming to a set of rules established by men, it didn't come in the wake of legislation by any government.
It came as love, in perfect time, blowing on the breeze of grace.
Truth came to me, right when I didn't even know I needed it, just before I fell over the edge into a life out of control.
As time passes by, and my relationship with Truth grows, I'm learning more about the individuality of that relationship. How I was created for that specific relationship. How nothing outside of that relationship can dictate that relationship, or how one gets that relationship.
And I'm learning of the sweet freedom that relationship brings...
Freedom from conforming to any culture that judges, that separates.
Freedom from holding the roles of judge and jury.
Freedom from thinking that different is bad.
Freedom from the deception of being "better" than anyone else.
Freedom from worry. All worry.
Freedom from self-oppression.
Freedom from guilt that comes from our weaknesses.
Freedom from being ruled by my unstable emotions.
Freedom from being limited to only what our eyes see.
Freedom to believe in the impossible.
Freedom to not be busy all the time, or working all the time.
Freedom to love others, as we love ourselves.
The freedom that comes with knowing I don't have to have it all under control.
I don't have to save the world every single day.
I don't have to carry the weight of a world revolving around me...
And the incredible weight that's lifted from my soul when I slowly realize that it's not all about me, anyways.
