But instead I'm hopelessly distracted by thoughts of what's going on around me/us.
(Hopefully I'll be able to get it all out before work, so I can actually get some work done today...)
This morning brings an early conversation from one of my girlfriends. Her family was thrown a HUGE monkey wrench; and she's been coming out of the protective cocoon she created in the aftermath.
She's doing awesome. (thank you, God!) Much MUCH better than I would be, if I were in her shoes.
We're talking about plans for the weekend, the family gathering we're trying to put together last minute, to celebrate Thanksgiving with our group; our tribe; since we'll be scattered on actual Thanksgiving.
I'm loving this.
We're a safe place with each other, to each other.
We know we're all in different places in our lives, in the physical and the spiritual. We (the girls) laugh at how we've got 4 decades covered in experience. But never in my life have I seen four decades of women get along SO well.
We each have something to offer one another, and it's just usually, simply, who we are; something God knew we'd each need.
It's when
Sigh...
I'm so thankful for all my safe places. Not places I can go to, but places where I can be...me.
For my teachers who witness my moments of idiocy, my breakdowns, times when I open my mouth, thinking I know what I'm talking about, showing my tail. And yet, they either ignore my idiocy, or gently guide me away from it. And they still continue to teach me.
For my husband, who sees all of it: the questioning side, the confident side, the creative side, and the destructive side. The learning side, the selfish side, the giving side. The only one this side of heaven who knows my heart. He may not know what to do with it at times, but he loves me anyway.
For my girlfriends, who've seen me show my tail, and then so graciously let me know in their own way that they love me, despite my imperfections. (I'm hearing a "Bless her heart" in there...)
I used to be jealous of times when my girlfriends would hang out, and I couldn't be part of it. I would try to move heaven and earth to get to be part of their gathering, That's what my selfish, prideful and center-of-attention personality demanded.
And then I realized what a blockhead I am.
Who am I to think that someone needs me around?
Who am I to think that I can teach someone anything?
Am I not still a student myself??!!
I have to keep this thought at the forefront of my day; or I become useless.
God isn't going to use me for what I know, He's going to use me for who I am.
Wait a minute...
That "I am" just got caught in my throat...
